Starting to do this more often...

There are things in my life that have brought me back to the place where I’ve been reminded of blogging, so this will be something I’ll update more often.

Circumstances created by physical space make it problematic for friends and family to be able to check up on how things are going in my life, especially my oldest younger brother who is going to serve our country in Iraq as an MP. Bro, this is for you.

I know what you're thinking...

After reading through many of my blogs, you might be thinking, “Man, this girl is a feminist!” This is not so. I am not saying “Women can do everything better than a man” or “Women should be treated the same as men” or something along those lines. The bottom line is this…

We should be treated differently because we are different. Men and women are wired in different ways and so that calls for different action. But that doesn’t mean unfair action. We are both valuable and have certain tasks that the other sex cannot perform as well. ‘Partners’ is the correct term when it comes to relationships.

I don’t think one sex is better than the other. I don’t think women are the Crap and therefore should be worshiped above all others. We are the weaker sex, but you have to be careful with that. What does that mean? Does it mean that we are weaker in certain areas and not others, or does it mean we are weaker in every aspect?

Women need to be protected and guarded, and men are naturally good at that. Those who abuse women are not included in this generalized statement. Women generally don’t mind taking care of things that support what male is involved with. That fits the man. It drives a man to great depths knowing that the woman he loves supports and roots him on in his endeavors. For her to be his playmate, the one with whom he can run and jump and play around with is high on his list of needs.

In fact, that’s where we’ll go next: what we need.
(Hold on, here we go!)

When the rubber meets the...

During high school years the idea that girls who 'got around' being thought of as trashier than the boys who were into the same behavior was culturally understood. As I finishing college, it seems that the system hasn't changed, but has it? Is it just me or has something changed in the way we divide blame?

While walking with a good friend of mine through the computer lab on campus the other night I passed a couple sitting on a couch close together, looking over school material. My friend said to me (while maintaining eye contact with the gentleman in reference, ‘Whore.’ “What in the world has gone on between these two?” She explained that she and this dude had made-out the other week and now he was with some other chick.

Another reference. During a conversation with a girlfriend of mine a guy she knew walked passed us and she felt inclined to tell me, “Stay away from that guy, he’s dirty.” Is this all new or is something around here changing?

Back in the day the guys who were ‘experienced’ were the guys that all the girls wanted to get with. And all the girls who had ‘experience’ were the ones that guys wanted to stay away from. It doesn’t seem to me that that form of doctrine is followed anymore. I sure hope not. I kinda wanna hear that guys are being held to some type of standard.

So hearing ‘Man Whore’ makes me smile…so what?!

Who told you?

At some point in time you had to figure out what you thought about the opposite sex, but where did your idea come from? If you’re older then your parents and school teachers had a big part in shaping your perception. If you are under 30 then culture, media and your friends are to blame. I have a theory that kids who grow up on Disney movies and other obscenely unrealistic entertainment have an exceptionally hard time understanding that the creators of Disney don’t pipe ideas and conversations into your head while you are trying to live in the real world. You make habit the idea that life is beautifully scripted and that you always say the funniest, most clever thing anyone can think of. NOT so. Relating with the opposite sex isn’t easy either. You can’t make some sarcastic hurtful thing to someone and think it will roll off their back like life in sitcoms display. It’s NOT real. Knowing someone so different from you takes continuous hard work, home work and an open mind. Also having the understanding that you will always be surprised, disgusted and sometimes disappointed about the things that you discover, will again take you to that mutual place of…differentiation.

A very stupid thing...

Going back to the subject of where you get your ideas from, I touched on the hunch that Disney movies that kids grew up on hasn't helped folks with the blow of reality.

Ariel, the Little Mermaid, wants to have greater things and ends up with a stupid prince, who, “loved whoever had that ‘voice,’” no matter how wonderful Ariel was. For this she gives up her world, her family, her fins. This we will call stupid devotion.

Belle in Beauty and the Beast also wants greater things and ends up with a rotten (oh, maybe he’ll change…) prince who at first worked on being nice to her only to break the curse. For this she gave up her plans and dreams of journeying in the world. Again, same diagnosis. Stupid.

Lastly, Aladdin, the princess also gives up her dreams of venturing into the world, independently, when her beggar-turned-prince takes her on a magic carpet ride. He fact that he is going to “show her the world” when he’s never seen it himself is null and void.

If you’re thinking these ‘fair tales’ do not apply to real life, think again! You have to keep in mind that billions of girls and boys who see these films are going to grow up believing this romantic nonsense and dreaming dreams that most likely turn into nightmares.

Here we go again!

Again, must I stand up for my capabilities? I don’t take the stand point I have because I think women should rule the world: men are doing fine with the positions they already have and I don’t think they would be improved if a woman took their place. My sole purpose is to communicate to whomever I talk to that women do have qualities to be praised and they can handle some things that guys can’t. Case in point:

Yesterday while at my retail job I stopped to talk with a man who was refilling our Pepsi cooler about he and his wife’s responsibilities and how they juggle dual jobs and two small kids. I work with his wife at my property management job, as she holds a part time position after she forfeited her management position to have her youngest child. “I need her income, so we are trying to find out how to work her into that job again without leaving me to take my days off to watch the kids. It’s hard.” “What’s hard about it?” He answered, “Well, [Sarah] is a mommies girl and so mommy always has to be there or else I can’t get anywhere with her. [John] is still very young so he wants his mommy too.” Yea, it's hard, huh?!

Men and Women: Different But Good

As I sit and think of what I should base my first blog on I reflect on what conversations get me the most fired up: the differences of men and women do it more times than not. I currently attend a private university where the boys in upper level philosophy and logic classes are taught that the girls are not as logical (as that may be true, the tone is what is offensive) as guys are, not as proficient in top managing positions and the like. I don’t mind understanding that men and women are different: that makes the sexes work well together. My problem is when guys continually think they are better in every way and that girls have a small realm of ‘goodness’ to them. “Just as long as you stay either in the kitchen or the bedroom, you’re good” my friend said joking with me one time. That got me goin’.

My argument is this: guys, don’t think that by putting women down that you are lifting yourself up. There are wonderful aspects to women that are to be praised and cherished. Some of the greatest debaters, writers and leaders are men, I recognize this. I am an honest person and I tell myself the truth. But that doesn’t mean that women can’t debate and win: that they can’t write and be a bestseller or that they have no leadership qualities. I don’t like feeling like all I’m good for is a set of ovaries.

Welcome to my Best Shot!

Ok, so this is new to me. BLOGGING…..huh. Some people use their AIM profile and away messages to let those close to them know how they are doing. Some already have websites that they update and if you’re old-school then you still write newsletters and ….. mail them. But if you’re really up-to-speed then you know how to blog. You know what it IS even.

When I tell my friends that I started a blog, some of them say, “Oh, that’s awesome. Cool” while some stare waiting for me to explain myself. I have been somewhat surprised at how many people don’t know what it is. But you do, and that’s all that matters. Thanks for reading my virgin blog.